I was leaving the hospital yesterday, after visiting my brother, and found myself in an elevator discussing books with two women I had never met.  It is amazing how books can bring people together.  They were talking about the new Ted Kennedy book and said it was a “must read.”  I then mentioned that I had recently read The Help and found it to be an inspiring story and another “must read.” I have also just finished reading The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls and can’t seem to get it off of my mind. The story is about a family of four children who are raised by two abusive and dysfunctional, yet sometimes loving, parents.  The children are neglected, they do not get medical care, they are forced to eat from garbage cans and live in almost uninhabitable conditions.  The father is an alcoholic and the mother is a frustrated artist with very low emotional intelligence ( though intellectually both parents are very bright). They have a very confusing religious upbringing and are most often the objects of ridicule.  Yet they become responsible, successful adults.  It is a great story of resilience and strength, but it is confusing as all get out!  Loving, nurturing responsible parents are sometimes left wondering where they went wrong, while parents who never should have had children watch theirs go on to bigger and better things.  I struggle with all of the kids in my programs.  I want to be nurturing without babying them.  I want to be firm without being mean.  I want to let them have some freedom, yet not let them get hurt.  Still, I’m the only Nancy I know how to be, and that Nancy just may not be right for some children.  It is a dilemma, to say the least.

November 12, 2009

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